Searching For A New Beginning

Hi to all!

I’ve decided to make another blog of mine because, well, I’m kinda bored with the old blog.
It’s been 3 years already and I haven’t been updating it so, probably a new blog will motivate me to write. Or not.
I’ve been busy lately, or should I say LAZY?
Oh well, no matter, I’ll try to blog once in a while alright? I’ll try.
Once a week perhaps?
A quick or long one, whatever it is, I will update my life in here.

Anyway, I’ve just ‘celebrated’ my first year in college.
Oh, I’m growing old! Already a senior!
Looking at the newcomers reminds me of myself when I first came here.
I was such a loner back then, unbelievable really.
Thankfully I got through the nightmare and yeah, I’m doing good right now!
Although I must say this semester is definitely harder than the last and it’s gonna get tougher and tougher,
but I do have great fun with my friends.
And of course, I still have my old habit, procrastination.
I can’t get rid of it!! Irritating parasite!
I’m currently making a study schedule but I barely follow it since I always have something else to right after class.
Whether it’s a late lunch, a movie or even just simply hanging out talking crap with my friends.
Motivation just isn’t coming to me at the right time. *sobs*

This year, I must say, there are good things and really bad things going on in my life.
My beloved sexy sis has flown to London to pursue her studies , hell yeah, she’s doing alright there.
It seems like she’s having holidays there rather than studying.
Traveling and eating good food she is, boy I’m jealous!
My next stop? London it is! *hehe*

Anyway, lately, I’ve been hurting my beloved ones without me noticing.
I always thought that what I do will lighten up their burden and make them happy.
Little did I know that I’ve been stabbing their heart all the while.
I keep hearing them say, ‘Imagine you’re in my shoes. how will you feel?’
Honestly, no matter how hard I try, I still can’t imagine being in their position.
Because I realised, I only see from my point of view and perspective.
I’ve been shining so brightly myself that everyone around me is hiding behind my huge shadow where I can’t see them.
People telling me that I’m selfish and I only think about myself.
I admit, I hide my feelings and I do run away from problems.
I always thought that keeping everything to myself will make everything less complicating.
But in the end, when I can’t hold on any longer, tears just burst out and so does my feelings, and my heart.
That’s when I hurt them all most.
That’s when everyone is crying their hearts out and no words can explain how they feel deep within.
And that’s when all the blame is put on me.
I never know that what I’ve done has been putting such great pain to them.
And right now, I don’t know what to do.
I’m clueless and hopeless.
I’m faithless and careless.
All I can say now is,
two words,
seven alphabets.
I’m Sorry.